Here is work, here is healing

I’ve been thinking about something recently: why are random memories popping up all of a sudden? it feels as though I can be going about my day, and out of nowhere, I feel a sense of nostalgia from a smell at the grocery store, or I can be having dinner with my fiance, and I feel a memory resurface. starting my healing journey, I didn’t realize that I would learn so much about myself. I was convinced I could choose who I wanted to be (thank you, social media), and that would be that. I could choose what bothered me and what didn’t, and I could choose how my life would look moving forward; the past was the past. As I’ve devoured my time to therapy, meditation, and my spiritual practice - I’ve pretty much laughed at myself for thinking that to be true (with love, of course) because it simply isn’t true. we’re made up of moments, feelings, experiences, troubles, wins, insecurities, values, morals, opinions, accomplishments, passions, daydreams, and vulnerabilities - it's what makes us the person we become. As we grow older, we get to choose to look at our past and decide where we grow from there, onward and upward, I hope for myself. but it does feel weird to start exploring situations from the past that were deemed unimportant - the time you were shamed, the time you felt something was off, the time you surrounded yourself around toxic people - but maybe those experiences do serve importance. Maybe the interpersonal dynamics in your life, the experiences that unfolded around you, the trouble you witnessed, the hardship you faced, the battles you won - they're all connected somehow. maybe it’s a web, after all. a year ago, it would’ve swallowed you whole to think about it - but you’ve grounded yourself, so now here you are, digging a little deeper.

Here is work; here is healing.