moving to a new state in your 20’s - the ups & the downs
When you do a quick google search "moving to a new state in your 20s" you'll find various articles that reference the do's and donts, the why's and why nots, the how-tos and how not to's, suddenly your google browser is saturated with differing opinions and if you're anything like me, part indecisive, part impulsive, (where are my fellow Sagittarius?) it quickly becomes a looming experience that quite frankly leaves you with more questions than you began surfing the internet. What I didn't find. on the internet, however, was someone's personal and complex story of packing up to move to a new state and start anew. So I figured I'd offer up my story, one that has left me feeling all sorts of ways: confused and tired, grateful and enriched. A complexity of coexisting feelings that belong solely to you; a person who chose to move away from familiarity and closer to a sense of uncharted territory. I get it, it sounds daunting and you're concerned. I felt similarly. After a nostalgic walk down memory lane per photos on my phone, I compiled a series of important things you should expect.
Expect mixed feelings
I remember the excitement my fiance and I felt the moment we decided to move to Chandler, Arizona. I felt a physical jolt in my body, one that demanded to be listened to. One that pushed me to imagine a life different than the one I had. Simultaneously, I remember the deep pit in my stomach that was forced to be felt as we said goodbye to the people we saw every day: family, friends, coworkers; people that were the stitches in the cloth we had woven together. You can feel grateful for what you built and anticipation to build more all in the same breath.
It's okay to let people in
My fiance and I lived in Chandler, Arizona for one year and one year only (yes, partly due to the unbearable heat) and when I tell you I started to allow people to see me past my walls a whopping 5 months before we left, I mean it. Adjusting to a new city where I knew no one my age offered its share of challenges, fortunately, I worked for Starbucks which allowed me to be in an environment where I was surrounded by like-minded individuals and young adults who were simultaneously leaning into interpersonal connections. Giving other people the opportunity to get to know me gave me an opportunity to be seen and adored by others, a lesson that took me months to learn. Not to sound all Brene Brown, but lean into the people around you because odds are, they want to get to know what makes you, you. Shout out to the people who got me through those tough transition months and for showing me that making friends as a young adult is hard but worthwhile.
Get out
As a homebody, my immediate physical space is usually my favorite place to be. Every apartment I have lived in has been my favorite for different reasons because they were made into a home. Needless to say, I still have unchecked boxes waiting patiently in my notes app that offered up potential experiences: Sedona, The Wave, and Horseshoe Bend. I assumed the day would come when I would venture out to explore these foreign places but the time slowly came and quickly went. Make the trips. Check the boxes.
Find your places
Now I know this is contradictory to what the bullet above mentions, but truth be told Peixoto Coffee Shop got me through most home-sick days and never-ending work weeks. When you move, embrace your naivety and find new places. Cling to ones that made you feel something familiar and recognize it. For me, that feeling was coffee and pastries every Sunday with my fiance and kids (dogs, same thing).
I think it's safe to say that selling everything I owned, saying 'see you later' to my friends and family, and moving to Arizona before finding an apartment to live in was the epitome of change, but it belonged to me. I showed myself that if I have an urge, I can scratch that itch and see what life holds for me apart from what I grew up knowing. I met incredibly diverse and soulful humans that taught me how to connect in the midst of change. I ventured to new areas that showed me how different a daily routine can look when you step outside your comfort zone just enough to think mindfully. My fiance and I grew our relationship to new heights through challenges and achievements. So I guess my advice is if you're thinking of moving to a new state in your 20s, you should 100% abso-fucking-lutely do it, maybe without the Reddit articles suggested by Google